Kate's pre-nup battle

Publication: Star
Date: 13 June 2011

Here's a problem in the gossip rags. Too many famous people sharing first names. Star goes with the headline "Kate's pre-nup battle". But which Kate?

It's Kate Hudson this time. It could have been Kate Middleton, but it would be too late to tell that story. It could have been Kate Gosselin, but she has been largely forgotten in 2011, though overall she is still the most popular Kate in the gossip world, at least since the beginning of 2010 in terms of solo stories.

Hussy alert: Kate Hudson stole my man while I was pregnant.

Publication: Star
Date: 23 May 2011

So Kate Hudson is a hussy, if we are to believe Star magazine.

The most recent hussy alert was for her mom Goldie Hawn, so the apple does not fall from the tree.

Bells are Ringing Alert™: Two famous women get engaged! No, not to each other.

Publication: Weekly Life & Style
Date: 16 May 2011

It's been a slow week in the supermarket rags. I haven't been able to find a copy of this week's low rent Examiner anywhere, the Sun was completely lame as was the Weekly World News, and the number of stories about Wills'N'Kate pushed other gossip off the covers.

Also, we get two engagements of women who have nothing to do with each other lumped into a single story.

Kate and Kristin.

I know what you're asking? Kate who?

This time it's Kate Hudson, who has never, ever been important enough to be known just by her first name in the gossip world.

A year ago, Kate meant Kate Gosselin. Now, it means Kate Middleton. Tabloid headline writers, please take note.

And the other one is Kristin Cavallari. There are boatloads of Kristens and Kirstens and Kirsties in the gossip world right now. Technically, the only other Kristin with two "i"s is Kristin Davis of the Sex and the City series, but she has only had one mention in sixteen months, so Kristin Cavallari kinda sorta deserves the first name basis, since this is her sixth cover story.

Buns in the oven alert™: Celebrity beach baby bumps!

Publication: National Enquirer
Date: 2 May 2011

I have to give the Flagship some credit for making something new out of two types of stories that get done over and over in the supermarket gossip rags.

Celebrity women in swimsuits? Done all the time, all year long.
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Celebrity pregnancies? Hugely popular category, stories showing up more than once a week on average.

Pregnant celebrities in swimsuits? Okay, that's something different.

As usual with a cover that has multiple pictures, the Enquirer had a "Guess who?" picture, bu I refuse to guess or open the magazine for such nonsense. The women who were identified were a couple of newcomers to the supermarket gossip world, actress Selma Blair and Mel B. from The Spice Girls, and Kate Hudson, who has been on several covers before, both before her pregnancy and since.

Annoying label bookkeeping #8

This is a link to the post below made necessary by the massive number of labels for the story.

Bun In The Oven Alert™: Mariah and Kate baby panic!

Publication: OK!
Date: 4 April 2011

OK! likes to go with short and vague headlines, and this one certainly qualifies. "Mariah and Kate baby panic!" is accompanied by pictures of the two women, both of whom are confirmed pregnant. If you want to know what the panic is, you'll just have to read it yourself while standing in the supermarket line.

If I were a suspicious person, I might think the mini-flurry of interest in Kate Hudson is hoping to get people who aren't paying close attention to buy the magazine hoping to get a story about Kate Middleton or maybe even Kate Gosselin. Both stories this week just use the first name "Kate", but they do include an identifying picture.

As I said, this might fool people who aren't paying close attention. As a math teacher, I know these people exist.

In numbers too big to ignore.

Bun In The Oven Alert™ and On The Rocks Alert: Kate Hudson's man is cheating on her.

Publication: In Touch
Date: 4 April 2011

Kate Hudson's pregnancy garnered a few cover stories in the supermarket rags back in late January and early February, but since then nothing. Now, In Touch says the unnamed baby daddy, rocker Matt Bellamy, is cheating on her.