Suri's late night meltdown!

Publication: Weekly Life & Style
Date: 2 May 2011

The Littlest Scientology Princess gets yet another story telling of her diva-like behavior. This is the sixth story about her this year and fourth in five weeks.

Just a brief reminder to all those about to experience baby joy that this can be the result.

Rich people are rich: Suri's $5 million birthday gift!

Publication: OK!
Date: 25 April 2011

Suri Cruise is the most popular target under ten years old for the supermarket rags, just barely edging out Shiloh Jolie-Pitt.

The general impression the public gets from the stories about Shiloh is simple. She's a spoiled brat.

Suri turns 5!

Publication: People
Date: 11 April 2011

People has a simple headline about Suri turning five years old. No other editorializing is given.

Meanest Story nominee: Suri's twisted world.

Publication: Weekly Life & Style
Date: 4 April 2011

The typical Suri Cruise story in the supermarket rags tells us she is a handful, but this one lays some of the blame on the adults in her life. Here are the sub-headlines.

• plays with x-rated candy
  
• dragged out of bed by Katie for 1 a.m. dinner
  
• still using a pacifier at age 4
  
• What Katie's parents are doing to save Suri
  

You will note that the sperm donor is left completely out of the equation.

This gets a nomination for Meanest Story of the Week.