Bundle of Joy Alert: Meet Kim Zolciak's baby boy!

Publication: Weekly Life & Style
Date: 11 July 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! Most of the women from the Real Housewives franchise that get multiple covers on the Only Ten Magazines That Matter are protrayed as bitches and gold diggers, but the supermarket rags have been relatively kind to Atlanta's Kim Zolciak. This week, she gets the best kind of treatment and female celebrity can get, pictures of her and her adorable baby. The boy's name is Kroy Jagger, which is not only unfortunate, it's also his daddy's name.

Best wishes to all involved.

Bundle of Joy Alert: Meet Alicia Silverstone's baby boy!

(photo by Regine Mahoux/Getty)
Publication: Us Weekly
Date: 11 July 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! Welcome to gossip hell, Alicia Silverstone! Actually, she's in the nicest section of the supermarket rag world, the rooms reserved for recent moms and their adorable babies. The boy's name is Bear Blu Jarecki, which he can legally have changed sometime in the 2030s when he reaches the age of consent, but by then the damage will have already been done.

Best wishes to the happy family.

Bundles of Joy Alert: Pink's baby girl.

Publication: People
Date: 4 July 2011

It's easy to think the world of celebrities is filled with weirdos, but the gossip rags do want to publish good news from a traditional family perspective, with the majority of the focus on female celebrities. Of all the positive stories they tell about women, there is none more positive than a new mother with her baby, which is the treatment alleged bad girl Pink gets on the cover of People this week.

Best wishes to all concerned.

Breaking news:Natalie Portman gives birth.

Publication: People online
Date: 14 June 2011

People reports that Natalie Portman has given birth to a son. No mention of the child's weight or his name.

Best wishes to the happy family.

Bundles of Joy Alert: A girl for Pink, a boy for Kim Z.

Publication: Weekly Life & Style
Date: 20 June 2011

Just in case you missed it, Weekly Life & Style wants you to know that Kim Zolciak of Real Housewives fame has given birth to a baby boy.

And the entertainer Pink has given birth to a baby girl.

Best wishes to all concerned.

Bundle of Joy Alert?: Sandra adopting again.

Publication: Star magazine
Date: 30 May 2011

Star is going with the story that Sandra Bullock is adopting again and will have a second child in the house by the end of summer. Bullock's reps deny it. The best Star can do is say Sandy was really good at keeping it secret last time, but I don't recall her having to deny a story in the press.

Bundle of Joy Alert: Meet Mariah's babies.

Publications: OK!, Weekly Life & Style
Date: 16 May 2011

Mariah Carey has finally delivered her twins. She actually announced the pregnancy in October, only seven months ago, but there have been rumors since March 2010, which would give her the gestation period of an Indian elephant.

The twins are now named Monroe and Morroccan (?!?!?)When the child turns 18, he will be allowed to change his name to something sensible, but by then, most of the major bullying will have been done.

Breaking news: Mariah Carey gives birth to twins.

Publication: Huffington Post
Date: 30 April 2011

What seems like an extremely long pregnancy has come to a safe conclusion today as Mariah Carey gives birth to twins, 5 pounds 3 ounces and 5 pounds 6 ounces, small for regular babies but not out of the ordinary for twins.

Best wishes to all the family.

Bundle of Joy Alert: Mariska Hargitay's baby joy!

(photo by Charles Eshleman/Film Magic)
Publication: People
Date: 2 May 2011

Mariska Hargitay and her husband have adopted a baby girl. She gave birth to a son in 2006, and the actress says she always wanted to have a daughter, so she got one the sure fire way.

Best wishes to all involved.

Bundle of Joy Alert?: New clues about a new baby for BrAngelina!

Publication: OK!
Date: 2 May 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! You might think Charlie Sheen and all his troubles, including a custody settlement and a live tour with a lot of drama, would be the big story in all parts of the gossip industry, but after a flurry of stories around the time he was fired six weeks ago, he has been a non-person in the supermarket rags.

BrAngelina, on the other hand, is the ever flowering perennial, and the Only Ten Magazines That Matter will report on any small event or even rumor. OK! goes with a cover story based on flimsy evidence that the Jolie-Pitt family size is about to go +1. The Star had a similar rumor about a month ago.

Bundle of Joy Alert: Ryan's love child drama!

Publication: In Touch
Date: 28 March 2011

The Plague of Ryans continues in the supermarket gossip rags. So far in 2011, there are three actors named Ryans worth gossiping about - Ryan Reynolds, Ryan Gosling and Ryan Phillippe (pictured above) - and the magazines will run a picture with just a first name. This week, the story in In Touch is about a woman Phillipe got pregnant but did not marry. She is not named on the cover, but the New York Daily News says she's actress Alexis Knapp.

Phillippe got no mentions in the tabs in 2010.