Rich people are rich: Inside Sandra's $23 million mansion.

Publication: Weekly Life & Style
Date: 13 June 2011

Sandra Bullock, like BrAngelina or Jennifer Aniston, doesn't actually have to do anything newsworthy or ever gossip-worthy to get on the cover of a magazine. This week, Weekly Life & Style gives us a tour of her very expensive house.

I imagine it's nice.

Bundle of Joy Alert?: Sandra adopting again.

Publication: Star magazine
Date: 30 May 2011

Star is going with the story that Sandra Bullock is adopting again and will have a second child in the house by the end of summer. Bullock's reps deny it. The best Star can do is say Sandy was really good at keeping it secret last time, but I don't recall her having to deny a story in the press.

Fussin' and Feudin' Alert™: Jesse's latest twisted insult.

Publication: Us Weekly
Date: 23 May 2011

I had some hope that Jesse James would slink out of the Top Ten celebrities in the tabloids, but he keeps getting the occasional mention. Now it's Us Weekly that is reporting on some new stupid way he's decided to insult the only woman he's ever been with that might keep his kids from being complete douche bags when they grow up.

This is the first time I've given Jesse and Sandy a Fussin' and Feudin' Alert™, though she has fussed and feuded with his ex. It's certainly not On The Rocks anymore.

Love Bird Alert™: Sandra's new man.

Publication: Weekly Life & Style
Date: 23 May 2011

Since she is not wearing a wedding ring, Sandra Bullock's love life is still an important topic to the gossip rags. Weekly Life & Style says she has a new fella on the cover of this week's mag, but doesn't name him or provide a picture.

This usually means he isn't nearly as famous as she is.

On the rocks alert: Sandra betrayed again.

Publication: Star
Date: 9 May 2011

Once again, Jesse James is back on the cover of a supermarket rag and he blames Sandra Bullock for the fact he can't keep his penis in his pants. Pretty much the exact same story won Meanest Story of the Week way back in August of last year.

I didn't even think about nominating it for Meanest Story this week because it is such old news. Jesse is fading from the spotlight and the faster that happens, the better.

What's wrong with Sandra Bullock's face?

Publication: National Enquirer
Date: 11 April 2011

Sandra Bullock makes an appearance on the cover of the National Enquirer, so you can bet it isn't good news. A telephoto shot of her recently showed this lump on her jaw below her ear. It could be from clenching muscles or it could be the result of a dental procedure. I'm guessing it isn't permanent.

On the rocks alert: Renee Zellweger and Bradley Cooper officially split.

Publications: People, Star, In Touch, Us Weekly
Date: 4 April 2011

Last week, Star scooped the rest of the supermarket rags by telling us Bradley Cooper and Renee Zellweger were through. This week, it's on four covers, including the usually reliable People. Here are the different headlines.

• People: Renee and Bradley: Inside their split
• In Touch: Bradley and Renee: why he dumped her
• Us Weekly: What drove Renee and Bradley Apart
• Star: Renee & Bradley behind the break-up
  Why Renee ran to Sandra (Bullock)

Star gives more cover details than the others, but one of their details contradicts a plot line from last week. Allegedly, Bradley was tomcatting around according to Star, and one of his alleged trysts was Sandra Bullock. Now, it sounds like she was being a friend and go-between instead of a homewrecker.

On the rocks alert: Renee Betrayed by Bradley

Publication: Star magazine
Date: 28 March 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! There is a lot of fallout from the confirmed break-up of Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel this week, and this story is the detritus farthest from the scene of the crime. Star has pictures of Bradley Cooper with two different actresses out in public, which obviously means they are shagging like wild weasels either just prior to or just after the public photos are snapped. Cooper is seen with Jessica Biel in a picture that looks real dated February 26 with the caption "caught cuddling", though it just looks like a Hollywood "hello" hug. There is also a picture that could be photoshopped with Sandra Bullock dated March 5 captioned "sneaking out".

I am not giving Mr. Cooper the man slut label because the evidence is just too skimpy.

UPDATE: Since the break-up of Bradley Cooper and Renee Zellweger is all over the place on the supermarket rag covers the week after this story, this gets a belated Scoop of the Week label.