Meanest Story nominee: Obama birth certificate is a fake!

Publication: Globe
Date: 16 May 2011

Now begins the "afterbirther" era, and the Globe wants to be in the forefront. The long form birth certificate released last week is a FAKE! Here are the sub-headlines.

• File number is fake
• Inside: five more signs of fraud
• Trump: what else is president hiding?

So the Globe is hoping to take the money of the small minority of people who just can't believe a black man can be president except by fraud and subterfuge. As the comedian Ron White likes to remind us, "You can't fix stupid."

The is a nominee for Meanest Story of the Week.

Birther Crap: Obama's meltdown over Trump as birth certificate scandal explodes!

Publication: Globe
Date: 2 May 2011

It's hard to be in the Top Tem most popular celebrities if you are only going to get mentioned in the five tabloids in the AMI kennel, the Enquirer, Globe, Star, Sun and the low rent Examiner, but there is one person in both the all time Top Ten and the 2011 Top Ten who can make that claim.

Barack Hussein Elvis Obama.

This week it's the Globe saying the First Black President is going nuts over the attack from Donald Trump, even though in public, Obama seems pretty cool about it and Trump is the one getting all defensive.

The subheadline reads "Prez terrified of what 'The Donald' has uncovered!"


In reality and behind closed doors, I think Obama is quoting Mayor Clarence Royce of The Wire and his immortal line:

"I get to run against the white boy? Oh, Jesus, please!"

Birther Crap: Donald Trump demands to see Obama's birth certificate.

Publication: National Examiner
Date: 25 April 2011

There are two stories about thick fingered vulgarian Donald Trump in the tabloids published by the AMI kennel this week, and it makes it look like they want him to be the next president. The Enquirer publishes some completely fabricated bullshit about his "tough childhood", while the low rent Examiner gets on the birther bandwagon and prints Trump's demands to see Barack Hussein Tommy Flanagan Obama's real birth certificate.

The sub-headline asks "Does it say the word Muslim?"

Currently, Trump is riding high in the polls for the Republican nomination, and I have a very hard time seeing this guy succeeding if he actually had to campaign, largely because he's an ugly, fat, old abrasive asshole with less than zero charm and a punchline for a haircut, his only asset being that he's a celebrity from TV.

And then my ever helpful brain gives me two examples.

Governor Jesse Ventura.

Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Yes, Americans are this stupid. Whether they are "Trump for President" levels of stupid, only time will tell.

Most Delusional Story of the Week:Donald Trump's tough childhood!

Publication: National Enquirer
Date: 25 April 2011

The first mention of thick fingered vulgarian Donald Trump for President in 2012 that I saw was in the Enquirer last November, and now several publications in the AMI kennel are really pushing the idea. The Flagship lets the thick fingered vulgarian tell his own "amazing" life story, starting with his "tough childhood".

As a middle class kid, let me call bullshit. Trump's dad is the rags to riches story, Trump himself grew up a rich kid. He was sent off to boarding school, he made trouble there, so he was sent to military school, the place that assholes have been sent since time immemorial.

If his childhood was "tough", it was in the same way A.J. Soprano's was tough.

Least interesting cover story of the week: Donald Trump doubts Obama was born in the U.S.A.

Publication: Globe
Date: 4 April 2011

Thick fingered vulgarian Donald Trump shows that he's serious about the Republican nomination for the presidency by hopping aboard the high speed rail to Crazy Town and showing himself to be a birther. This is yet another Globe headline without any picture and so it gets no picture from me and the label Least Interesting Story of the Week.

Actually, any story about Donald Trump that doesn't include a picture is a blessing, isn't it?