Buns in the oven alert™: More babies for reality TV moms.

Publication: OK!
Date: 18 July 2011

Welcome back to gossip hell, Kourtney Kardashian! Kim has been the vast majority of Kardashian cover stories in the supermarket rags since she announced her wedding plans, but this week OK! tells us Kourtney is pregnant before her wedding with her second child.

This rumor has been floated many times. We'll see if this one pans out sometime in 2012.

OK! also says Kendra Wilkinson is pregnant with a girl. OK! is the nicest of the gossip rags, but they are not the most reliable.

Fussin' and Feudin' Alert™: Kardashians ripped apart by off-camera scandals!

Publication: Star
Date: 4 July 2011

Kourtney and Khloe have been nearly forgotten by the supermarket rags for awhile, even before Kim announced her wedding and sucked all the air out of the room. But this week, Star puts all three on the cover with plenty of dish to go around. Here are the headlines.

• New sex tape
• Custody battle
• Secret pregnancy
• Plus: the truth about their plastic surgery

The custody battle would have to be Kourtney, since she's the only one who has a kid, but the other stories could be about any of the three. You'll have to buy the magazine yourself to find out, since I don't open them up on general principles.

Buns in the oven alert™: Fresh horses for my men and babies for all the Kardashians!

Publication: Weekly Life & Style
Date: 13 June 2011

Weekly Life & Style gives most of the cover to all three Kardashian sisters. While Kim is getting married and thereby sucking up most of the oxygen out of the room, Weekly Life & Style tells us the other two are pregnant. Here are the headlines.

• Fertility doctor makes Khloe's baby dream come true
• Kourtney: Another baby before her wedding!
  
  

Best wishes to all concerned, with a proviso that every female Kardashian above the age of consent and younger than the age of menopause has allegedly been pregnant several times in the past eighteen months.

Damn You Skinny Alert™: Hot Bodies 2011

Publication: Us Weekly

Date: 6 June 2011

Nothing surprising about good looking celebrities in swimsuits on the covers of The Only Ten Magazines That Matter. Nothing surprising to see Zac Efron and Kourtney Kardashian featured in such stories. The only slight surprise is to see Carrie Underwood in a bikini for the first time, but not such a surprise that she looks good in one.

Bad mom alert: Mom torments Kardashian sisters over their bodies.

Publication: In Touch
Date: 23 May 2011

In Touch calls out Kris Jenner as a nasty beeyotch ruining the lives of her daughters. Here are the details.

• Kourtney pressured to get Botox to erase crow's-feet
• Khloe delays baby plans for lip after Kris calls her 'fat'
• Kim agrees to a super-sized butt implant to stay famous

Doesn't being famous sound like super fun?

Bells Aren't Ringing Alert™: Scott calls off the wedding.

Publication: In Touch
Date: 4 April 2011

There was talk in the tabloids about a wedding for Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick earlier this year, but people in the know denied it was true. Now we have Scott calling off the wedding that was never going to happen in the first place. Here are the lying details.

• BATTLE FOR THE BABY
• Kourtney explodes after shameless Scott demands custody of Mason. How greed and jealousy tore them apart.

Damn You Skinny Alert™: Kourtney's flat abs secret.

Publication: Us Weekly
Date: 4 April 2011

It's been nearly a month since Kourtney Kardashian got a mention on the cover of a supermarket rag, but she gets two different ones this week for her two main points of interest, her hotness and her messed up love life. Us Weekly wants you to know her flat ab secret, but when you don't really have a job and have plenty of time to exercise and excellent incentive - like, if you're fat you'll lose your reality show - it's hard to call her success a secret.