Buns in the oven alert™: More babies for reality TV moms.

Publication: OK!
Date: 18 July 2011

Welcome back to gossip hell, Kourtney Kardashian! Kim has been the vast majority of Kardashian cover stories in the supermarket rags since she announced her wedding plans, but this week OK! tells us Kourtney is pregnant before her wedding with her second child.

This rumor has been floated many times. We'll see if this one pans out sometime in 2012.

OK! also says Kendra Wilkinson is pregnant with a girl. OK! is the nicest of the gossip rags, but they are not the most reliable.

Damn You Skinny Alert™:Kendra says "I'm scared of gaining weight"

Publication: Weekly Life & Style

Date: 6 June 2011

Kendra Wilkinson has something like an epiphany and is quoted as saying "I'm scared of gaining weight". It may have finally dawned on her she has no talent and if she doesn't look good naked, the gravy train of reality TV will no longer be available to her.

Backstage gossip from Dancing With The Stars.

Publication: Us Weekly
Date: 2 May 2011

Last season, there were a boatload of Dancing With The Stars stories on the covers of the gossip rags, but it's been a little quiet this season so far. Here are the headlines from the story in Us Weekly.

• DWTS Meltdowns! Hookups! Feuds!
• Kendra - backstage tears
• Kirstie - control freak
• Chelsea - Dating LC's ex

The main characters that have been the targets of gossip have been Kendra and Kirstie, but a new name gets added this week, DisneyTeen™ Chelsea Kane. For people over the age of 25 (and for those under that age who actually have lives), LC is short for Lauren Conrad, a reality TV star.

You're welcome.

On the rocks alert: Kendra's big lie to Hank!

Publication: National Enquirer
Date: 25 April 2011

There's not much good I can say about the Enquirer except that they leave reality TV alone for the most part. For example, the Enquirer has only had one Teen Mom reference in nearly four months, and that was a grab bag story about celebrity mugshots.

Their one main exception is Dancing With The Stars, where they obviously have a source. Without that, I doubt they would have a story about Kendra Wilkinson.

On the rocks alert: Hank caught with another woman!

Publication: In Touch
Date: 18 April 2011

The usual story of trouble between Kendra Wilkinson and Hank Baskett involves Kendra being a flake or another sex tape of hers making the rounds, but this week the marital trouble comes from a different source, Hank allegedly not keeping it in his pants.

Welcome to gossip hell, Jessica Hall! This nice piece of walking scenery is one of the bimbos on Deal or No Deal and she is the alleged other woman. Here are the headlines.

• Caught with sexy playmate Jessica Hall
• making out in a Vegas club
• Humiliated Kendra leaves Hank!

Damn You Skinny Alert™: Dancing With The Stars beach bodies

Publication: National Enquirer
Date: 18 April 2011

The Flagship has another cover story featuring women who look like they are being photographed through telephoto lenses, but this week the women actually don't look awful. They have three women from the current season of Dancing With The Stars, stars Kendra Wilkinson and Wendy Williams and dancer Cheryl Burke, shown above. Scanning across the Internets, some people say that this is what she looks like when she's out of shape.

Still looks pretty good to me.

I count this as the first positive story on the cover of the Enquirer since late January.

All the Dancing With The Stars dish for 11 April.

Publications: Globe, In Touch, Star, Weekly Life & Style, OK!
Date: 11 April 2011

The Only Ten Magazines That Matter barely acknowledge that American False Idol exists, but they love Dancing With The Stars with all their hearts. This week, there are five stories about the show, most about Kendra Wilkinson and Kirstie Alley, but Wendy Williams also makes an appearance on the cover of Star, as well as passing reference to Maksim Chmerkovskiy, who the gossip rags think is famous enough to just be called Maks. Here are the headlines.

• Globe: 200 lb. Kirstie Alley Heart Attack shocker
  Chilling risk she faces on 'DTWS'
• In Touch: Kendra and Kristie catfight!
  
• OK!: Kirstie & Kendra tell all
• Weekly Life & Style: Kirstie's sexy promise to Maks
• Star: DTWS cover-up
  Extreme surgery
  Cocaine and pills
  Kirstie's secret husband

Dancing With the Stars is rigged this season. Again.

Publication: National Enquirer
Date: 4 April 2011

Last season, the low rent Examiner printed a story about everyone's favorite open secret. They said Dancing With The Stars was fixed just because some fat 20 year old girl kept coming back every week when better dancers were sent home.

This season, it's The Flagship that's starting with the rumors early, saying that the winner will either be Kirstie Alley or Kendra Wilkinson.

I don't have a TV and have no intention of watching online, but I will point out that Kirstie and Kendra are the only stars on the show this season who have been mentioned in the tabloids at all in the past year.

Meanest Story nominee: Celebrity B.O.!

Publication: Star
Date: 4 April 2011

Star has one of those scattershot stories that hits about a jillion celebrities with gossip from their stylists. I've split out one set of three pictures as a separate post with news you can use.

What celebrities stink?

I mean literally.

Kendra Wilkinson is stinky.

Uma Thurman is stinkier.

And Mel Gibson is stinkiest.

This gets a nomination for Meanest Story of the Week.

On the rocks alert: Kendra & Hank torn apart by jealousy.

Publication: In Touch
Date: 28 March 2011

So far this year, there is only one supermarket rag that wants us to know that Kendra and Hank are through, and that's In Touch. Last year, a lot of the gossip mags were speculating about their marriage, but she's getting more solo stories this year about weight loss and the always optimistic OK! says she's preggers.

This is the only Kendra story this week.