Fussin' and Feudin' Alert™: Angelina targets Jen's new man.

Publication: In Touch
Date: 18 July 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! Yet again, the supermarket rags want us to believe that making Jennifer Aniston's life a misery is Job One for Angelina Jolie, the hussy who stole Brad Pitt away all those years ago. "Jen's New Man" is mentioned in the headline, but Justin Theroux does not get artwork or even a mention by name, so I'm not giving him a label on this post.

If you read the gossip rags enough, you know that the focus is really on the women, and guys are just accessories for the most part.

Fussin' and Feudin' Alert™: Angelina snubs Wills'N'Kate!

Publication: Globe
Date: 11 July 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! You know Wills'N'Kate, the cute couple from across the pond that are going to be King and Queen of the United Kingdom one day? Yeah, I thought you might remember.

Well, according to the Globe, they are itty bitty bugs compared to the true queen of the gossip world right now, Angelina Jolie. They asked for a little sitdown for a parlay, and she was like all "Whatever, I'm busy! Why don't you try Jennifer Aniston or Julia Roberts or one of the other old wannabes?" (Not an actual quote.)

Oh, it's on like Donkey Kong!

All this week's news about Angelina Jolie.

Publications: In Touch, Star
Date: 27 June 2011

Angelina Jolie is the center of the American gossip solar system and everything revolves around her. This was true long before I started this blog a year and a half ago. While Jennifer Aniston and Sandra Bullock have appeared on more covers than BrAngelina, there are also the solo stories about Angie. If I split every story about the couple into a story about each, instead of BrAngelina being in third place and Angie being in tenth, she would be first and he would be second.

Heck, the gossip rags wouldn't care as much about Jennifer Aniston if she wasn't the modern day equivalent of Debbie Reynolds to Angie's Elizabeth Taylor.

While Brad gets mentioned in passing in one of this week's stories, the focus is on Angelina. Here are the headlines.

• In Touch: Angelina's $500,000 birthday gift
• Star: Angelina's secrets & lies
  tell-all book banned!
  Her secret trial separation from Brad
  Cheating - other men, other women
  Held hostage with a gun to her head
  11 Never-before-seen family photos
  Teen guitar hero
  First wedding
  
  

Bad mom alert: Chaz Bono offers Angelina help with Shiloh

Publication: National Examiner
Date: 2o June 2011

The low rent Examiner has a story about Angelina Jolie raising Shiloh as a boy and Chaz Bono says he can help. This is a complete re-hash of a story in OK! last month. Last year, there were a passel of stories about Shiloh's tomboy ways.

I just know what I read in these silly magazines and I don't believe half of that. If Angelina sticks to her decision to leave Chaz Bono the hell out of her parenting process, this is a move full of win, as the young people are fond of saying.

Meanest Story nominee: Angelina weighs 99 lbs and is hooked on heroin.

Publication: Star
Date: 13 June 2011

Star magazine says Angelina Jolie weighs 99 lbs. and is hooked on heroin. Brad's family is planning an intervention.

This last detail makes all the rest less believable, because Brad's family really hates her.

This is a nominee for Meanest Story of the Week.

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Fussin' and Feudin' Alert™: Angelina tells Chaz Bono to "leave Shiloh alone!"

Publication: OK!
Date: 30 May 2011

There's plenty of stuff about the Jolie-Pitt brood in the gossip rags this week. OK! has Angelina finally reacting to Chaz Bono's request to meet with little tomboy Shiloh, with the simple answer "not only no, but hell no".

My only comment is that Shiloh really looks like her daddy in that picture. Of course, whether she looked like dad or mom, she's in a win-win situation, right?

No Bun In The Oven Alert™: Angelina talks adoption.

Publication: Weekly Life & Style
Date: 23 May 2011

Angelina Jolie maintains her position as The True Queen Of All Gossip and Defender Of The Faith, or some such thing. She actually doesn't talk to the magazines much, but Weekly Life & Style says they have her talking about adoption, a subject she should know a thing or two about by now.

Comfy Shoes Alert™: Angelina's secret lovers.

Publication: In Touch
Date: 16 May 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! Both of the big news stories of the week, the wedding of Wills'N'Kate and the assassination of Bin Laden, get plenty of space on the covers of the Only Ten Magazines That Matter and those headlines will be put up later. For now, let's explore what the gossip rags are saying about the perennial big story in the gossip world, Angelina Jolie.

In Touch says Angelina bats from both sides of the plate. Here are the sub-headlines.

• trysts with women behind Brad's back
• the girlfriend who shares her bed when he's away
• PLUS: the stewardess who rejected her!
  

Remarkably enough, with all the trash that is written about Angelina, this is the first story that says she's bisexual on the cover of any supermarket gossip rag for at least a year and a half.

Angelina Jolie: New United Nations Mission?

A solo Angelina Jolie is escorted through security as she catches a departing flight out of LAX airport in Los Angeles Sunday afternoon (April 3). The 35-year-old humanitarian and actress allegedly caught a plane to the Middle East for a new UN mission. Angie has been an enthusiastic ambassador for the UN High Commissioner for Refugees (UNHCR), a UN agency that currently assists 20 million refugees in approximately 120 countries.