All this week's news about Angelina Jolie.

Publications: In Touch, Star
Date: 27 June 2011

Angelina Jolie is the center of the American gossip solar system and everything revolves around her. This was true long before I started this blog a year and a half ago. While Jennifer Aniston and Sandra Bullock have appeared on more covers than BrAngelina, there are also the solo stories about Angie. If I split every story about the couple into a story about each, instead of BrAngelina being in third place and Angie being in tenth, she would be first and he would be second.

Heck, the gossip rags wouldn't care as much about Jennifer Aniston if she wasn't the modern day equivalent of Debbie Reynolds to Angie's Elizabeth Taylor.

While Brad gets mentioned in passing in one of this week's stories, the focus is on Angelina. Here are the headlines.

• In Touch: Angelina's $500,000 birthday gift
• Star: Angelina's secrets & lies
  tell-all book banned!
  Her secret trial separation from Brad
  Cheating - other men, other women
  Held hostage with a gun to her head
  11 Never-before-seen family photos
  Teen guitar hero
  First wedding
  
  

Hey Old Timer Gossip: A "Where Are They Now?" for 50s and 60s rockers.

Publication: Globe
Date: 13 June 2011

Fresh trash tomorrow! Last trash of the week... right now!

The Globe puts a mess of old rock and rollers on the cover and in no way assumes that any of them are one step from the grave. They have pictures of Bobby Rydell, Chuck Berry, Brenda Lee and a "guess who?" of a "rockin' grandma" who is pretty obviously Grace Slick. The meanest part of this generally not mean nostalgia is bringing up the comfy shoe orientation of Leslie Gore, a fact she confirmed in 2005, though people who read the Globe may not have heard the news just yet.

Hey! It's her party and she'll cry if she wants to!

You would cry, too, if it happened to you.

Comfy Shoes Alert™: Angelina's secret lovers.

Publication: In Touch
Date: 16 May 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! Both of the big news stories of the week, the wedding of Wills'N'Kate and the assassination of Bin Laden, get plenty of space on the covers of the Only Ten Magazines That Matter and those headlines will be put up later. For now, let's explore what the gossip rags are saying about the perennial big story in the gossip world, Angelina Jolie.

In Touch says Angelina bats from both sides of the plate. Here are the sub-headlines.

• trysts with women behind Brad's back
• the girlfriend who shares her bed when he's away
• PLUS: the stewardess who rejected her!
  

Remarkably enough, with all the trash that is written about Angelina, this is the first story that says she's bisexual on the cover of any supermarket gossip rag for at least a year and a half.

Kick a FRESH corpse, why don'tcha? Miss Elizabeth Taylor's tell all book!

Publication: National Examiner
Date: 18 April 2011

You might think the gossip rags would lose interest in Miss Elizabeth Taylor now that she's dead, but that would be a miscalculation, especially with the Globe and the low rent Examiner, who revel in Hey Old Timer Gossip. The low rent Examiner says that Miss Taylor left behind that most valuable commodity in the gossip world, the tell all book. The main juicy tidbit from this alleged tome is that Miss Taylor had a secret gay love life.

If what they mean is gays secretly loved Liz Taylor, well... that's not really a secret, is it?

Meanest Story nominee: Oprah's mom tells all!

Publication: National Enquirer
Date: 4 April 2011

Do you want to know bad things about Oprah Winfrey? The editors of the magazines owned by AMI think you do. If there is trash about Oprah in the tabloids, it will be in the Star or the Globe or the low rent Examiner or even more likely, in the Flagship publication of AMI, the National Enquirer.

This week, it's the Flagship telling us that Oprah's mom is in the mood to spill the beans, and we mean a WHOLE LOTTA BEANS. Here are the sub-headlines.

• Hush money fails
  
• Confession of love affair with Gayle
  
• Bald Oprah lost all her hair
  
• Her deadly drugs to lose weight
  
• What really happened to Oprah's son and where he is today
  

This gets a nomination for Meanest Story of the Week.