Love Bird Alert™: Jen's falling for Bradley Cooper!

Publication: In Touch
Date: 9 May 2011

Jennifer Aniston and her stunningly bad luck with men is one of the stories the supermarket rags will never abandon. This week, In Touch has her head over heels for Bradley Cooper. Here are the headlines.

• Jen falls for Bradley: Yes, she's in love!
• From steamy texts to talks of their "future together", why friends fear Jen's moving too fast… again!

Both commenter #1 Karen Zipdrive and I have our somewhat exotic theories as to what has made Jen's love life a shambles, but maybe that second sentence explains the situation more simply.

She's really, really clingy and nobody likes that.

Love Bird Alert™: "It's on!" between Jennifer Aniston and Bradley Cooper.

Publication: OK!
Date: 2 May 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! Even if there is nothing real to report, the Only Ten Magazines That Matter keep coming back the same stories again and again, most especially Jennifer Aniston's completely up in the air love life and BrAngelina's tempestuous relationship.

OK!, the nicest if not the most reliable of the supermarket rags, tells us that "It's On!" between Jennifer Aniston and Bradley Cooper.

The post just below this one from the headline from Us Weekly in the same news cycle tells a completely different story.

Fussin' and Feudin' Alert™: Bradley disses Jen... again

Publication: Us Weekly
Date: 2 May 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! Two stories about Bradley Cooper and Jennifer Aniston this week, but since they pull in completely opposite directions, I'm giving them separate posts.

If we are to believe Us Weekly, the 36 year old successful actor wants noting to do with the 42 year old spinster, regardless of how hot she looks in a bikini or how much her house is worth.

Love Bird Alert™: Jen wants Bradley back.

Publication: In Touch
Date: 11 April 2011

Just because America's favorite spinster Jennifer Aniston isn't actually seeing anyone and her most recent movie is now two months old and playing in just a handful of theaters is no reason she shouldn't be on the cover of a supermarket rag. In Touch tells us that she is pining for the charms of Bradley Cooper, the guy who just dumped Renee Zellweger.

While there is evidence the couple has met, including this telephoto lens shot form 2009, Cooper denied at the time that they were seeing each other.

On the rocks alert: Renee Zellweger and Bradley Cooper officially split.

Publications: People, Star, In Touch, Us Weekly
Date: 4 April 2011

Last week, Star scooped the rest of the supermarket rags by telling us Bradley Cooper and Renee Zellweger were through. This week, it's on four covers, including the usually reliable People. Here are the different headlines.

• People: Renee and Bradley: Inside their split
• In Touch: Bradley and Renee: why he dumped her
• Us Weekly: What drove Renee and Bradley Apart
• Star: Renee & Bradley behind the break-up
  Why Renee ran to Sandra (Bullock)

Star gives more cover details than the others, but one of their details contradicts a plot line from last week. Allegedly, Bradley was tomcatting around according to Star, and one of his alleged trysts was Sandra Bullock. Now, it sounds like she was being a friend and go-between instead of a homewrecker.

On the rocks alert: Renee Betrayed by Bradley

Publication: Star magazine
Date: 28 March 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! There is a lot of fallout from the confirmed break-up of Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel this week, and this story is the detritus farthest from the scene of the crime. Star has pictures of Bradley Cooper with two different actresses out in public, which obviously means they are shagging like wild weasels either just prior to or just after the public photos are snapped. Cooper is seen with Jessica Biel in a picture that looks real dated February 26 with the caption "caught cuddling", though it just looks like a Hollywood "hello" hug. There is also a picture that could be photoshopped with Sandra Bullock dated March 5 captioned "sneaking out".

I am not giving Mr. Cooper the man slut label because the evidence is just too skimpy.

UPDATE: Since the break-up of Bradley Cooper and Renee Zellweger is all over the place on the supermarket rag covers the week after this story, this gets a belated Scoop of the Week label.