Scoop of the week: Chris Hansen of To Catch A Predator caught cheating on videotape

Publication: National Enquirer
Date: 11 July 2011

Chris Hansen, the guy from To Catch A Predator who videotapes men coming into homes with the hope of sweet talking some underaged girl into bed, has been caught on videotape sweet talking a woman past age of consent, but said woman is not his wife. Unlike most stories in the supermarket rags, this one has gained traction quickly in the mainstream press and qualifies as Scoop of the Week.

Scoop of the week:People has an exclusive interview with Kim Kardashian and her new fiance Kris Humphries.

Publication: People
Date: 6 June 2011

Fresh trash on... Wednesdays? Yes, People has the real deal on the cover, the exclusive story of how Kris Humphries proposed to Kim Kardashian. There have been plenty of stories in the supermarket rags before about the state of their romance, but the big difference between People and the rest of The Only Ten Magazines That Matter is that People doesn't publish idle speculation. (Planted crap, yes. Idle speculation, no.)

You should be able to read the headline in this cropped version of the cover this week. Back in April, Weekly Life & Style said he got her a 10 carat ring "just like Liz Taylor's". As you can see from this version, they were off by about a factor of two.

Best wishes to the happy couple.

Meanest Story nominee:Catherine Zeta-Jones in Psycho Ward!

Publication: National Enquirer

Date: 25 April 2011

The Flagship has a nominee for Meanest Story of the Week, as usual, but this one has already been confirmed as true. Catherine Zeta-Jones, who is called "Michael Douglas' wife" in the headlines, has been checked in to a mental hospital due to a diagnosis of bi-polar disorder 2. The Enquirer says she has been put in a ward with drug addicts and alcoholics, but since she works in Hollywood, she should feel right at home. (Rimshot! Thank you very much! I'll be here all week! Try the veal!)

UPDATE: Not only has this story been confirmed, but a week later it gets on several covers, so I give the story a belated Scoop of the Week.

On the rocks alert: Renee Betrayed by Bradley

Publication: Star magazine
Date: 28 March 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! There is a lot of fallout from the confirmed break-up of Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel this week, and this story is the detritus farthest from the scene of the crime. Star has pictures of Bradley Cooper with two different actresses out in public, which obviously means they are shagging like wild weasels either just prior to or just after the public photos are snapped. Cooper is seen with Jessica Biel in a picture that looks real dated February 26 with the caption "caught cuddling", though it just looks like a Hollywood "hello" hug. There is also a picture that could be photoshopped with Sandra Bullock dated March 5 captioned "sneaking out".

I am not giving Mr. Cooper the man slut label because the evidence is just too skimpy.

UPDATE: Since the break-up of Bradley Cooper and Renee Zellweger is all over the place on the supermarket rag covers the week after this story, this gets a belated Scoop of the Week label.