Meanest Story nominee: Trashing Miss Elizabeth Taylor one more time.

Publication: National Examiner
Date: 4 July 2011

The low rent Examiner, very fond of Hey Old Timer Gossip, drags the names of four dead people through the mud this week, though the main target of the mudslinging is Miss Elizabeth Taylor, the freshest of the corpses they decided to kick.

First, they say Miss Taylor had a steamy affair with John F. Kennedy.

I'm not completely buying this. Miss Taylor was definitely an "if you like it then you should have put a ring on it" kind of gal.

They also peddle the story that she had a war with Grace Kelly over Prince Rainier.

This is a nominee for Meanest Story of the Week.

Hollywood Hot Actress Elizabeth Taylor

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Meanest Story nominee: Secret autopsy reveals foul play in the death of Miss Elizabeth Taylor.

Publication: Globe

Date: 6 June 2011

It's been two months since Miss Elizabeth Taylor died, but she is still one of the most popular gossip topics of 2011 for The Only Ten Magazines That Matter. The Globe is re-hashing the story that foul play might have been involved in her death, this time telling us there was a "secret autopsy".

Best wishes as always to the family and friends of Miss Taylor, from a fan.

This is a nominee for Meanest Story of the Week.

Brave Last Days Alert and Meanest Story nominee: Larry Fortensky brain damaged and dying!

Publication: Globe
Date: 9 May 2011

The Globe isn't quite through with Miss Elizabeth Taylor just yet. They put a story on the cover that her last husband, construction worker Larry Fortensky, is brain damaged and dying, and that Liz left him $1,000,000 in her will.

Best wishes to Mr. Fortensky. This gets a nomination for Meanest Story of the Week.

Bells are Ringing Alert™: A ring for Kim!

Publication: Weekly Life & Style
Date: 25 April 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! Weekly Life & Style says things are moving forward fast on the marriage front for Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries. The sub-headline reads "Kim chooses a 10-carat cushion-cut engagement ring. She confirms to Life & Style, 'I've found my wedding dress', and she'll marry Kris this year!"

They add the detail that the ring is "just like Liz Taylor's!" This proves she's serious.

Or something.

Kick a FRESH corpse, why don'tcha? Miss Elizabeth Taylor's family war explodes!

Publication: Globe
Date: 25 April 2011

You might have thought that dying would make Miss Elizabeth Taylor less interesting to the supermarket gossip rags.

You might have thought that, but you would have been wrong. The Globe wants us to know about the brouhaha over the fortune she left behind. Here are the sub-headlines.

• War over her $1 billion fortune!
• Armed guards surround treasure-filled mansion!
• Estate on lockdown!
• Win! Liz's autographed books & photos worth $$$

Well of course it's on lockdown! Those light-fingered villains from the Globe are making off with autographed books & photos worth $$$!

I swear, they will take the pennies covering your corpse's eyes if nobody is watching.

Kick a FRESH corpse, why don'tcha? Miss Elizabeth Taylor's secret lover tells all!

Publication: Globe
Date: 18 April 2011

Miss Elizabeth Taylor may be gone, but in the gossip rags she is not forgotten just yet. The Globe says they have information from a secret lover who will tell all. No identification of the coward is given on the cover, and I refuse to open these rags up except in the most dire situations, which does not include this one.

Kick a FRESH corpse, why don'tcha? Miss Elizabeth Taylor's tell all book!

Publication: National Examiner
Date: 18 April 2011

You might think the gossip rags would lose interest in Miss Elizabeth Taylor now that she's dead, but that would be a miscalculation, especially with the Globe and the low rent Examiner, who revel in Hey Old Timer Gossip. The low rent Examiner says that Miss Taylor left behind that most valuable commodity in the gossip world, the tell all book. The main juicy tidbit from this alleged tome is that Miss Taylor had a secret gay love life.

If what they mean is gays secretly loved Liz Taylor, well... that's not really a secret, is it?

People puts a single picture on their cover this week. Miss Elizabeth Taylor, 1932-2011

Publication: People
Date: 4 April 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! Today's stories are all about Miss Elizabeth Taylor, and this one at least actually does not deserve to be called trash. People, as can be expected, put only one photo on the cover, a color corrected version of the picture seen here. Here are their headlines.

• Farewell to a Legend
• Her life
• Her Loves
• Her legacy in pictures
  
  

Besides People, only the Wicked Step Sisters thought it was worth giving the great star a send-off, which just proves that besides being the classiest of the gossip rags, People is the only one with an institutional memory of how important Miss Taylor was in American culture.

Best wishes to the family and friends of Miss Elizabeth Taylor, from a fan.

Kick a FRESH corpse, why don'tcha?: Elizabeth Taylor didn't have to die!

Publication: National Enquirer
Date: 11 April 2011

You can't really expect the truth from the supermarket rags. You can't even expect internal consistency.

Case in point: Last month, it was the Enquirer who had Elizabeth Taylor THE END on the cover of their magazine when the great movie star entered the hospital. It looked like they expected her to be dead before the magazine hit the stands. Now, they say she could have been saved except for a medical mistake, and they promise to tell who is to blame.

They also say they have the deathbed love letter of Miss Taylor to her former husband Larry Fortensky. Their source for this story is Fortensky's sister.

Best wishes to the family and friends of Miss Elizabeth Taylor, America's last true movie star, from a fan.

Kick a FRESH corpse, why don'tcha? Miss Elizabeth Taylor's secret diaries.

Publication: Globe
Date: 11 April 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! Today is reserved for the cover stories in the supermarket rags about Miss Elizabeth Taylor, who died a week ago Wednesday. The Globe says they have their hands on Miss Taylor's secret diaries. They promise 20 pages of coverage inside, and put these teaser headlines on the cover.

• Marilyn Monroe seduced her
• two husbands beat her
• her steamy tryst with JFK
• Deathbed scene, last photo, final words
  

Best wishes to the family and friends of Miss Elizabeth Taylor, from a fan.

Breaking news: Elizabeth Taylor is dead at age 79.

It is being reported in all major news outlets that the legendary actress Elizabeth Taylor has died at the age of 79. As a child star, it was obvious she had a lovely face. When puberty hit, she had an astonishing figure. As for her acting ability, her husband Richard Burton once said "I'd be on the set and I'd think 'She isn't doing anything.' Then I'd see the rushes and I'd know. She's doing everything and she's doing it perfectly."

By all accounts, she was a loyal friend to many a troubled soul, including Montgomery Clift and Michael Jackson just to name two. My mom was eight days older than Liz, which might explain why I always had a soft spot for the star, though I never so much as shook her hand.

Best wishes to the family and friends of Miss Elizabeth Taylor, from a devoted fan.